Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I don't think brook has ever known best
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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