you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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