Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
