I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
