Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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