So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
