your room smells of hookers.
And success
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
