I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
My dad is sitting where you rode me
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
