We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
