New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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