FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
