Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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