Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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