She's JV to your varsity
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Randomize
