What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
