My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
