The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
