Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
