That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
