What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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