so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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