I feel like I'm in dance class right now
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
