pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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