I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Randomize
