So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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