i wish peter jackson would direct porn
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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