home. puking in laundry basket.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
