absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
He shit in the fireplace
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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