I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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