I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
