WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
