The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Hippo gnu deer
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
