Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
