ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
