Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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