Non-Jews are for practice
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Randomize
