Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
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