Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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