gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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