fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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