I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
