i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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