Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
