Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize