i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
