Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
time to smoke my breakfast
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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