Since when is my name a synonym for head?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
