yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
