he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
