You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Holy sore nipples Batman
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
