he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
My pussy is not your playground.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
