whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
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