I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
