tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Randomize