someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
it's like iHOP with fire
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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