Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
