He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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