My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
