Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
How does it feel to date your dad?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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