i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
