I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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