I've blown a few things in my day
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
