I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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