i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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