youre lurking in front of me
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
