Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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