I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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