From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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