Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
