So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
