how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
