What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
so much tequila, so little girl.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
