You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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