Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
You were trust falling into bushes
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
