K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
