but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
