why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
