theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
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